Thursday, May 30, 2013

Friday Fragments - First Timer

I'm kind of digging the whole Blog Meme thing. Because...well...I'm lazy. I like not having to think about what to post. I can just blindly follow the blog fad of the day. Easy Peasy.

Plus, I find new blogs to follow to get behind on reading. On which to get behind. Or something like that.

ANYwho. Thought I'd try this Friday Fragments bloghop where you gather little bits and frags of things that happened during the week and throw them all in one post. A sort of stew of life's little moments.

So let's's a few fun moments from the week:

1.  Over last weekend, our whole household did yardwork. I wanted to hire this awesome yard guy who had just done our front yard (which looked great) to do it, but our backyard was so overgrown it would have cost $300. So hubby said no, he would do it.

One thing I should tell you about my hubby is he is not known for getting chores done in manner. (I've mentioned that before here. And here. And...hold on...I have to go through my posts and find another one on the topic of honey-do procrastinations...Huh. coulda swore I had another post about that. Guess I'll have to write one.) But, we were having his sister and her grandkids over for a barbeque on Memorial Day and I really wanted the weeds gone so we wouldn't lose any children in the brambles, brush, and dog poop.

So I nagged prodded hubby a bit more than I normally do when it comes to chores and he got a bit grumpy. My brother helped out and got grumpy too, and I was grumpy because they were grumpy, so yeah. We were all just the epitome of joyful teamwork.

But long story short, they called me names like The Red Menace and I threatened to snip their privates with the branch clippers and a good time was had by all. And the yard looks fabulous.

By the way, we saved $300 by not hiring the awesome yard guy, but will spend at least $600 on massages, chiropractic care, and allergy medicine.

2.  My sister and I decided where we are going for our annual camping trip and booked our camping sites. And this started a week long online search of tents, camp kitchens, camp tables to go with the camp kitchen, and other probably not necessary, but oh-so-cool camping gear.

We texted back and forth all week about the pros and cons of the Coleman Easy-Up tent and what the reviews said and how it leaked when it rained and let bugs in, but how easy it was to put up and take down, and on and on. I know. Fascinating stuff.

But it was a highlight of the week that we booked our spots and are ready to roll for our annual family camping trip. I know - your going, Really?? Yes, we get excited about our annual camping trip.

3.  Wednesday, I wrote a poem for my 21 year old daughter, Sis, who just moved out 4 weeks ago. Four. weeks. ago. I'm repeating that so that you remember how long it's been since she moved out, after you read my poem:

There was a young girl who moved out from her home
To spread her wings and live on her own
She loved her new life that was so unrestrictive
But her neighbors complained and now she's evicted
She asked to come back to her old room and closet
Her parents said, "Yes, but we'll need a deposit."

So, yeah. I won't say anything more about that so as not to embarrass the innocent. Well, not so innocent, actually. But moving on....

4.  And that brings us to Thursday, when I paid a visit to the health food store in search of an appetite suppressant to keep me from stuffing my face like there's no tomorrow give my weight-loss battle a little ammunition.

Here's how the conversation with the thin, 20-something, know-it-all-looking clerk went:

Clerk: Can I help you find something? Like menopause vitamins?
Me:     Yes, I'm looking for an appetite suppressant which you would know nothing about because you're a thin, know-it-all-looking health freak.
Clerk:  These fat burners over here all have appetite suppressants in them, you fat old lady with no willpower
but I recommend these vitamins and nutrients for women over here because if you have good nutrition, then you won't have cravings.
Me:  But do they have appetite suppressants in them? What, do you have wax in your ears - I said APPETITE SUPPRESSANT!!
Clerk:  Actually, they do have fat burners in them Geez, lady, I'm trying to help here, how about you show a little willpower?
Me:     But is the appetite suppressant just a side effect of the vitamins or do they really control your appetite? I'm on a mission, dude. Don't F with me.
Clerk:  They do suppress your appetite OMG, I'm so quitting this job.
Me (putting down the vitamins and walking back over to the fat burners/appetite suppressants): Well, if I got one of these, which one do you recommend? LIKE I SAID, I'M LOOKING FOR A FREAKING APPETITE SUPPRESSANT!!
Clerk:  Probably (insert name of product here that I don't remember). It has the least amount of caffeine. Fine, OD on caffeine and give yourself heart problems, fatty
Me:     Well, I don't want to get all hyped up on caffeine...damn it, he's right Maybe I'll try the vitamins. How soon will I feel the effects from them? When can I expect to NOT want to eat every piece of junkfood in my cupboards?
Clerk:   Oh, right away I'm just gonna say what you wanna hear right now, so you leave and I can go to lunch and eat my tofu.
Me:       Ok, I'll get the vitamins and if they don't do what I want then I'll come back and get an appetite suppressant. Cause, like I said, I just want a freaking APPETITE SUPPRESSANT!!

Yeah. So that's how that went.

Well, this was fun! If you want to link up with a Friday Fragments post too, go to Half-Past Kissin Time (isn't that the cutest name?) and link up!

Mommy's Idea


Karen and Gerard said...

I am very fortunate to have a hubby who actually LIKES doing yardwork and does a great job with the yard! We do miss out on that kind of family togetherness though. Sometimes, I'll get in the mood to help and pull some weeds.

Nice poem!

Welcome to Friday Fragments--you did good!

Wayne W Smith said...

Cleaning in our house has the same team experience...

Cyndy Bush said...

Welcome to Friday Fragments! The last part of your Fragment #1 made me giggle.
I love camping too!
OMGosh, your poem, how funny! Poor sis.

viridian said...

Your poem is great and I was giggling at your reported conversation. Please continue with the Friday Fragments!

Stacy Uncorked said...

I had to giggle, because it sounds like you and I are married to the same man. The hubby is outside right now trying to finish up the many yard projects he started last summer, since now it's imperative they get done before we sell our house and move in August. ;) I'm hiding out so I don't get grumpy. Besides, I have my work cut out for me to purge and pack the house - and I'll be doing that myself, so he's on his own with the yard stuff in the heat. Heh.

I LOVE camping! I grew up in Washington State, so we camped every year - since moving to PA I haven't been able to sweet-talk the hubby into going camping, but I'm hoping he sees the benefits (and fun) once we get moved back to Washington this summer. ;)

That poem is hysterical - I wonder if I'll need to borrow it when Princess Nagger grows up and moves out? :)

And the convo between you and the thin know-it-all cracked me up, too. :)

Menopausal Mother Nature is having Hot Flashes again, Front Porch Update and Wino Competition Results – Friday Fragments

Addiction-A Mothers Perspective said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud. I really need that. I hope your camping trip is a blast!

Anonymous said...

Have a great camping trip and share some stories when you return. I'm good for one night camping out and then I need a regular bed and a shower. But I do love the outdoors and getting back to nature. If only there weren't skunks, bugs, and bears to deal with...Sigh. I'll have to stick to my backyard for now! :-)

Hootin Anni said...

...heck, if I'dda known, I would have done your yard for 1/2 his price.

Your clerk story just cracked me up!

nancygrayce said...

I had to laugh out loud at the search for appetite suppressants! I love dealing with young little clerks who are bored out of their minds and have no customer service skills! Thanks for the laugh!

Janet said...

See, I'd like to have a man around to help with the yard work, but the truth is, when I had a man, he didn't do yard work. Or if he did, he was grumpy about it and made me grumpy. Sometimes I think it would actually be worth it to pay someone.