Friday, May 28, 2010

It Is A Good Day For My Internet To Die

I was excitedly putting the finishing touches on my "1200 calories is going to kill me"  blog post when suddenly I had no Internet.

"It is a good day to die." (Source)
When I say "excitedly," I'm not kidding.

I was so thrilled that I actually had the wherewithal to prepare a post ahead of time for a fitness and health blog hop I was participating in, that I was wriggling in my seat with joy at the opportunity to post it.*

All that wriggling apparently jostled a wire loose from the router.


And just as I was about to add a funny picture of a fat gorilla too.

I re-attached the wire. Still no Internet.

Whenever I have any kind of computer problem, hubby (our household's resident tech guy) always says, "When was the last time you rebooted?"

And I say, "Well I bought a cute pair 2 winters ago but I can't wear them anymore because my calves are too fat. Oh. You mean the computer."

So before I woke him up to take a look-see, I rebooted. The computer, I mean (although purple suede boots are the solution to some problems, they wouldn't help in this particular situation).

Still no internet. I woke up hubby.

I whispered, "Honey, it's 5 minutes before you normally have to get up so before you get in the shower can you look at my computer because I have no internet and I don't know why and I'm right in the middle of something very important for work that I need internet for." (Sometimes desperation calls for itsy-bitsy white lies.)

"Hmmmm?" He looked at me sleepily (no doubt from being up to late playing our bedroom games), then from somewhere in the back of his groggy brain managed to pull his stock question, "When was the last time you rebooted?"

I wanted to ask him the same thing because he was not moving nearly quick enough to restore my link with the world so I could share my carefully crafted post.

I refrained however, since I didn't think sarcasm would bode well for me at that moment.

He finally got up and tinkered and fussed over the pile of wires and gizmos under and around my computer and after 20 minutes or so declared our router, and our internet...dead.

Furthermore it would remain dead until he could install a new router when he got home from work.

*Blink blink followed by blank stare*

"So, none of the computers in the house have internet?" I asked, incredulously.

"No, sorry hon."

*Blink blink followed by blank stare* Yes, I do this a lot.

"What about the laptop? I can get it on the laptop, right?"

He gave me this look:

The look my husband gives me when I say something utterly stupid

"Honey, it's like a car with no engine. No matter where you want to go, the car can't take you there." (My hubby is a veritable fountain of sayings such as this.)


The one time I had a post all ready to go ahead of time for my very first blog hop participation, my flippin' Internet dies.

I did manage later to run over to a friend's house and use her computer for a few minutes, just so I could publish my post. It was gorilla-picture-less, but published nonetheless.

But what was I going to do all day with no Internet? I don't just blog with it, I mess around on facebook, shop online, read and comment on blogs do my work on it too.

How was I going to spend my day without Internet?

Well, let me just tell you:

1.  I plucked my eyebrows.
2.  Cleaned off my desk
3.  Made a dent in my "file pile"
4.  Resolved a dispute with our insurance company that I had been procrastinating for weeks
5.  Bought the new router we needed plus a cute tablecloth for our patio table to cover up the craft paint that is permanently stuck to the top of it (which had been bugging me for months)
6.  Cleaned 2 bathrooms
7.  Swept the hall and stairs
8.  Did 4 loads of laundry
     Son-Of-A-Gun. Turns out I can be pretty productive when I'm not on the Internet.

In the end, it was a good day for my Internet to die. I had gone where no blogging obsessed blogger had gone before. I was kick-ass productive, like Worf, only minus the butt-head.

Then hubby came home, fixed my Internet, and I haven't had a productive day since.

Thank you to my hubby, Fred, for were it not for his technical savvy and expertise I would not have my link with the world restored. This is why he's at the helm of our household's technical spacecraft.
My husband posed for a picture in the Captains chair of the Star Trek Enterprise
Hubby in Command
What would you do with a day of no Internet?

Engaged, (Sorry, couldn't resist another Star Trek reference)

*To Lucy, the lovely hostess of the Fitness blog hop I was participating in - If you check your google stats thingy and it shows 30 hits to your blog from my blog in the past couple days - that was probably me. I thought your blog hop started on Aussie Thursday which would be Yankee Wednesday, but I didn't see the new linky Wednesday - not once in the 25 times I checked. When I saw it on Yankee Thursday (which maybe you put it up in the middle of Yankee Wednesday night, or Aussie Thursday morning), I got very excited - hence, the wriggling.


karen said...

I don't know where you live ... but you seriously need to come move here so we can hang. And workout, of course. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

OMG, that's too funny! Personally, I like to reboot three, maybe four times each winter. I mean, who can seriously turn down green suede on sale, for cripes sake?

Ms. Understood said...

It is amazing what you can do when you have to internet. Like right now, I would probably be tying that report I need to do for work. Glad you knocked out all that stuff and now you're back.

Anonymous said...

I am completely and utterly useless when it comes to computer problems. I have enough trouble making my blog posts each week. I imagine I would get much more things done if I spent less time on it. But what is the fun in folding laundry? Hubby is techno dude at our house and I can tell you gets irritated with me when I completely screw up the computer as has happened in the past through downloads that came with a free virus! I am all for rebooting too. And cute rebelting and matching accessoring! Ha Ha Ha...have a wonderful weekend!

Diminishing Lucy said...

Oh Yankee Lori, you make me larf love, you really do. I am so glad that my blog hop caused so much excited wriggling AND that you got a shit load done......xx

Unknown said...

Blog hops?? Purple suede?? Yankee Thursday?? Jeezaloo! You dames and your mindbloggling arglebargle-blogspeak! It's like being surrounded by Klingons. Speak the King's English, you freakin' aliens!

Sighhh... I am a pilgrim in an unholy land.

Oh wait a minute... wasn't 'Purple Suede' a song by That-Dude-Formerly-Known-As-The-Entertainer-Formerly-Known-As-Prince? Aw, I like that song.

Unknown said...

Oh that was so funny. haven't I mentioned you absolutely crack me up?? And isn't it amazing what we get done without the 'Net.

Oh, and good job, Fred *snort*

Cinda said...

Oh I can understand the no internet connection and losing your link to the outside world but mine are a frequent happening thing. Monsoon rains = constant annoying hair tearing blackouts!
My hubby too is the resident techie in the family. Thank goodness for him but I did have non-internet day once because he forgot to pay the Internet bill!!!

Brenda said...

Jaysus, no interwebs?! And you didn't hyperventilate? You brave woman you!

And hey, thanks for the linky luv. Welcome to FYBF! Mwahs.

Joann Mannix said...

There is nothing worse than router troubles! I just cry, usually when that happens. And all true, I could get so much more done if I didn't sit on this laptop the whole day through.

Sorry for my long email to you. I just had so many concerned, lovely comments that I kind of wrote something up and copied and pasted for anyone who seemed concerned. I truly didn't mean to go so TMI on you at your first stop at my blog. I promise you, I'm really not crazy.

Lori said...

Joann - I emailed you back. You're no crazier than any other parent. None of us are crazy - our kids just draw us that way. Flippin frappin kids!

Isn't blog world beautiful for it's connections with people we've never met? 6 months into it and everyday I'm realizing how alike we all are by our shared experiences and how supportive everyone can be when we need it.

Tree said...

I see Fred was being a bit cranky up above again! HAH HA!! It's amazing how much you can get done with no internet, huh? Glad you got it fixed though, and thanks for the shout out on the Idol post. LOL I learned from the best! ;)

Unknown said...

Ha! Loved the "rebooted" jokes. Made me laugh! Yeah, I probably NEED my internet to go down so I WILL do other stuff around here!

Unknown said...

Oh! I meant to also thank you for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny!

Anna at said...

Oh my gosh - too funny! I too have had my most productive days when the internet is down - but I try really hard to make sure no one knows that's why I got so much accomplished. :)