A Riveting Tale of Our Weekend

How was your weekend?

Ours was quite boring by most people's standards, but I was perfectly happy with it and I'm going to tell you about it because really, nothing else is going on over here.

We took the dogs for a walk and saw colorful, happy messages on the sidewalk, which I loved.

New Normals

I'm anxious. Are you anxious? I'm anxious.

Something about not being able to run to the store for an ingredient I need without donning a hazmat suit first makes me anxious. So I don't make the recipe because I can't get the ingredient and who wants to battle stores right now anyway.

And not being able to make that recipe makes me feel like I have no control. And feeling like I have no control makes me anxious.

Is this your brain right now too?

They'll Eat Me First in a Zombie Apocalypse

Well, if a global pandemic doesn't get me to blog, I don't know what will.

Even my dog is paranoid of catching it. She was sleeping soundly until I sneezed, then shot her head up and gave me this look, "Cover yer mouff, mom. Gawd!"

When I last left you, it was December and I wrote about our TomHanksgiving.

But the whole world has changed since then and no one wants to be Tom Hanks's neighbor right now.

TomHanksgiving

Can we pretend we're back at the end of Thanksgiving and not actually a week out from Christmas? Because then this post wouldn't be so very outdated.

I think I mentioned in my last post (or maybe I didn't...I don't remember) that my brother had the idea to go to a buffet for Thanksgiving, then afterward, see the Tom Hanks movie about Mr. Rogers.

Making Fairy Gardens with Mom and Other Stuff I Did Last Week

I think I'm doing pretty good with my renewed blogging efforts, considering I'm coming back from a two year stint in no-blog land.

My mom was visiting until yesterday so instead of blogging, I was busy making fairy gardens, watching movies, shopping, looking at old pictures, and getting our eyebrows done at Ulta. In short...having a grand 'ole time with me mum.

So, busy week with no time for blogging and now I'm going to cram it all into one post and tell you about it. Go refill your coffee (or cocktail)...I'll wait.

Smarties and Hippies and Peepee Dogs

Hi. It's Wednesday. I did some stuff since my last post and it's all random and silly, so this post will be all over the place.

Wait, where you going?

Firstly, remember when I asked the question, "Does buying a smart car make you smarter?" Remember that from oh...three years ago?

Yeah. That answer is a hard no.

White Walkers in Jaunty Hats

I'm at that stage in my big Gray Hair Grow-out (or as Fred likes to call it, The White Walker Attack), where my hair is beginning to look pretty shitty.

I have about an inch of gray up there, so I decided it's time for the hat phase of this whole operation.

I'm really glad for the cold weather because wearing a hat in cold weather is perfectly acceptable. Yeah, I know - it's acceptable in any weather, but I've never been a hat person.

Still The Same Beeping Life

I was heartened to see that yesterday's post had ten views. Ten people are still interested in my blatherings. (Is that a word?)

Or maybe they glanced, saw my gray roots picture and were blinded by the light reflecting off my silver hair and couldn't actually read my post.

(Can you tell this whole I'm-growing-out-my-gray-hair thing is pretty much an obsession for me right now?)

Anyway...heartened. So I'm pressing on with my blatherings.

I'm Back and I'm Going Gray

There better be some F-ing coffee 

Well hey. Haven't done this in a really long time.

Some shit happened in my personal life and I just didn't feel like blogging anymore. That was like...two years ago.

Things have been better for a while now and I've thought of all kinds of things to tell you and all kinds of stuff has happened worth writing about, but procrastinator that I am...here we are two years later.

Anyhoo, I'm just gonna start by telling you about my latest decision.

Six memorable summer moments I didn't blog about

This is the opposite of a rough summer.

It's been a rough summer for me. Recouping from my surgery is harder than I thought, then (and I haven't told you this yet) I had a coughing fit about 10 days after the surgery, and fractured a vertebrae in my lumbar spine.

A post about that is forthcoming, but the point is...rough summer.

But I always manage to laugh stuff off best I can, because what else are you gonna do?

I Almost Rescued a Bird

Go away, crazy lady.

When I last left you, I had fishing line sticking out of my neck and a $109,000 surgery bill. Well, not really a bill because insurance....but still.

You'll be happy (or maybe just grossed out) to know that after tugging on the fishing line a little bit each day over the course of a few days, the thread finally just slipped out. The thing was about two inches long.

Surgery is Expensive. Also, I didn't Win the Lottery.

We didn't win the lottery. I say "we" because my brother, sister, myself, my mom and stepdad have an agreement that if any of us wins, we will all split the money.

So when my sister and I drove out to California to visit my mom this past weekend, we bought tickets.

And now, here I lay in my bed with my little laptop tray, surrounded by sleeping dogs in my mess of a bedroom, checking lottery ticket numbers. In my pajamas.

What They Don't Tell You When You Have Surgery: A Post-Op Post

I had neck surgery about two weeks ago.

The whole business of surgery is unsettling. You don't really know what goes on in that operating room when you're passed out from anesthesia.

Despite my trepidation though, I knew it was time to have surgery. I had a couple discs in my neck that had been causing me problems for a few years and it finally got bad enough that I felt like I didn't have much choice.

Three Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Do as a Parent

Being a parent is hard. Even if you go into it, expecting it to be hard... it's harder than you ever imagined.

Oh sure, there's joys and rewards and in the end, you wouldn't trade it for anything, blah, blah, blah.

But there are some things you end up doing, as a parent, that you never, ever, EVER, thought you would have to do.

Just Another Weekend Full of Epiphanies, Chores, Peppercorns and Coneheads

Well, it's another red-letter weekend over here at Laidoffsville. Below are the highlights.

The Big Garage Clean-up

On Saturday I decided to organize the left side of our garage because it's been a big jumbled mess for a few months now and I finally got tired of it. 

When Fred saw what I was doing he asked what the trigger was. He hates when I start a project like that because he knows he's going to get sucked into it somehow. 

How a Pedicure Confirmed My Bitchy Resting Face

I love getting pedicures. Nothing makes a girl feel more girly than smooth heels and painted toes.

Last year after we moved, I felt like a needed a mini spa-break, so I tried a new nail salon right by our house. I had a lovely nail technician we'll call Sebastian.

How to Walk Four Dogs in 33 Easy Steps

I've taken to watching an episode or two of The Dog Whisperer on Saturday mornings. Because, you know, we have four and they don't respond all that well to our commands - whispered or otherwise.

The problem is that we don't treat them like dogs. They're more like noisy, messy roommates.

5 Tips for First Time Cruisers

In my last post, I mentioned we took a cruise and had a little misadventure in Puerto Vallarta.

This week, I thought I'd share a few of the highlights of our trip, in the form of general tips for any other first time cruisers out there. Because I don't mind getting laughed it.

I know you're thinking, "All right already with the damn cruise!" This is my last cruise post, I promise.

The Sunglasses that Sunk Us and Other Lessons Learned in Mexico

Fred and I went on a cruise last week. Neither of us had ever been on one, so it was spectacularly exciting and we had a fabulous time, but as happens with all new adventures, we learned a few lessons.

Actually, we learned many, many lessons, but this post is about what we learned while in our first stop on the cruise, Puerto Vallarta.

Take a Bite of the Cheesecake

My husband is a friendly guy.

He's friendly to just about everyone, strangers or not. He actually goes out of his way to be friendly.

In grocery store lines, he's the guy that looks for opportunities to make people laugh, and most of the time, he's successful. Except for one time when he was standing behind two big Samoan guys who were carrying gallons of milk.